Blessings From A Disaster

There are some silly things that happen in life that are so humiliating you feel you want to forget them for ever - and of course they are are the hardest things to forget. Many of these things happen when you are a teenager and easily humiliated but I find as you get older and more able to laugh at yourself these get fewer and farther between. One such rare thing happened for me when I went to audition for a cruise ship - near the beginning of 2014 I think it was. It was an audition with a company I had worked for before so that unknown at least was taken out, but I knew the audition would be hard work as it featured dancing which at the time I was not doing a lot of. I had some basic dance training and experience and can certainly learn and follow a sequence of choreography, but do not have that memory for moves that 'professional dancers' seem blessed with. Never the less the audition was primarily for singing, which I knew I could do, so I was determined to go for it none the less, if only so i wouldn't regret missing the opportunity. It was not long after the worst period of my mental health problems, and so I hadn't been working quite as frequently and felt extra nervous and out of practise from the audition world (I never have liked, and still don't really like auditions! But alas they are a necessary evil!). I tried to reassure myself that the feelings of nerves before the audition would be worse than the audition themselves - as is always true - except for this time.

I got through the first round - singing a solo - and was asked to come back for the afternoon. Gareth and I got a bite to eat and I went back for the second round which comprised of two parts - singing in harmony and dancing. The singing in harmony went poorly. I was able to sing the harmony when the musical director played it to me, but as soon as the other auditionees came in with their harmonies, I lost it completely.

Then the dancing. The choreographer was so much fun to watch but try as i might to concentrate I felt like the moves he taught me were slipping through my brain like water through a sieve. He told us to work on it ourselves for a few minutes, and I was so despairing I hardly did anything. I meekly asked a girl next to me for help but without any really hope of recalling the entire sequence within that minute. All I could hope was that I could copy the other auditionees when it came my turn to do it. No such luck. They split us down into groups of 3 and chose to put me at the front. I couldn't even pretend to know what I was doing. It was especially frustrating because I knew I was completely capable of performing the movements he had shown us, I just had no ability to remember what they were in such a short space of time. I had always done fairly well in my dance assessments at college, but only because I had excellent teachers who were willing to help me as I practised extra hard to master things.

I left the audition and went to Gareth's arms with frustrated and angry tears. I had never felt so humiliated and stupid at an audition before, and the fact that my confidence was low due to my current health circumstances, definitely magnified my feelings of despair. I felt stupid for thinking I could audition, and for the practising I had done in my living room to try to get back into dancing. SO so stupid. I realised I wasn't actually that bothered about not getting the job - as the people had spoke at the audition about what it would involve, I realised it wasn't quite what I wanted, but I was just ashamed and frustrated with myself, and embarrassed.

As time passed on and my humiliation simmered enough for me to reflect on the experience, a new frustration  arose - yes i had been lousy at the choreography - I'd known that would be a challenge - but why was i so rubbish at singing in Harmony? I could sing couldn't I? I'd been employed for singing work? I couldn't be that bad. Surely this was a skill I should master! I still wanted to master the dancing too, but for now that could wait.

So I sought out a singing teacher to teach me specifically how to sing in harmony, the fantastic Hannah Evans, and I joined Huddersfield Community Gospel Choir - I talked a bit about this, and a bit about my journey towards developing my skills in singing in harmony in this blog post here.

Since then as I began working with The Fabularium my new found skills were developed and put into use further, as I helped to develop harmonies for the songs in their shows.

After a performance of The Town Band Of Bremen with The Fabularium

I got to a certain point in my career where I decided it was time to start trying to 'tailor' my career in specific directions of what I wanted to do at that time. I decided that at that time I'd like to do either more physical theatre, or more singing work. So as I went down the line of applying for these kinds of work, something came up which was a dream opportunity.

I had been following, over Facebook, the ventures of a girl I had met briefly back whilst working as a performer at Nidd Hall, and in particular, the Vintage Trio she co-ran: The Daisy Belles. Check out their fantastic website here. Well they did a call out for a new girl. I had to apply. I was pretty scared, but delighted when I got an audition. I also discovered they were thinking of developing a new Motown trio - even more perfect as I loved Motown music.

I went along to the audition feeling pretty nervous. They were very friendly and nice. There was a little bit of dancing involved, but it was manageable. The singing went fairly well and I was in awe of how amazing their voices sounded together, and pleasantly surprised when mine seemed to blend with them pretty well! I told them I was also very interested in the Motown opportunity.

I left the audition feeling even more sure I wanted the job, but then I had that horrible mental battle of trying not to get my hopes up. I hate this, and I suck at it. Now as a performer there are of course some jobs you apply for that you would like to get but find it easy to accept you have not, but there are some that you just can't deny your heart wants. This was one of those. And as always with waiting to hear if you've been successful for a job - the waiting was torture.

I can still remember being in the car with Gareth when I got an email asking me to work with them - I was beyond chuffed. Not only did they want me to provide cover for one of the performers for The Daisy Belles, they also wanted me to be part of their new Motown group The Dazzlettes, and they wanted me to be in their Christmas Pantomime Tour under their company Razzle Dazzle Productions that performs in care homes. Potentially with Gareth alongside me!

Performing with The Daisy Belles

This work has stretched me immensely. Not only in the amount of songs and harmonies I have had to learn but especially with dancing. It has really helped me to get more used to picking up choreography, and also be more self-disciplined with my own private rehearsal.

Promo Shot for The Dazzlettes

Looking back on the memory of that Cruise Ship audition - there is still a little bit of myself that cringes, but a bigger part of me feels proud of myself for using that frustration and channelling it into something productive, and thanks to opportunities given to me by others I am able to use those new skills and develop them further. If you face/have faced a humiliating situation like I did, I would encourage you to try and step back from it a little, and reflect whether there is anything you can do to make something good come out of what was otherwise felt like a disaster (after you've allowed yourself a bit of time to cringe obviously!).

Coventry Capers

Some more reminiscing from Summer 2015...

The Festival of Imagineers 

The Festival of Imagineers takes place in the historic city of Coventry.

 I had the opportunity to work at the festival looking after some performers from Pif Paf which was great fun. They were performing with The Flycycle and The Submercycle, two fantastic contraptions...

It was a beautiful sunny day and I got to see lots of different companies performing which was fantastic.

The Herbert Lates

We performed 'The Lion & the Fox', based on one of Aesop's Fables, at 'The Herbert Lates' - a series of exciting evening events at The Herbert Art Gallery in Coventry. 

Meeting Legends and Making Music

Here are a few musical snapshots from Summer 2015:

Over the Summer I did a couple more gigs with Postculture which was great fun.

We worked on some more music together and also a cheeky little video to go along with 'Sunsound', my debut track with them. Have a listen...



To read previous posts mentioning Postculture click here if you like.

I went with some friends to an open mic gig down at The Box Office Bar at The Picturedrome - Gareth and I went along to perform a couple of songs, just for fun. Whilst we were there we got word that the legendary Martha Reeves and The Vandellas were performing on the main stage next door in the very same venue. We snuck over after playing a couple of tunes and got to see them live! It was so amazing! It was doubly exciting for me as not only do I love Motown, but at this point I was in rehearsals for a brand new Motown group The Dazzlettes and had been diligently rehearsing many of their songs! (I will talk more about The Dazzlettes in a future post). We managed to get really close to the front of the stage despite our late arrival and also meet the ladies afterwards. Incredible.

Along with Steve Ansell & The Truth we were invited to be interviewed again by BCB radio station - this time they played some of our recorded tracks, which was fun. I had a lot of creative fun and interesting experiences with Steve Ansell & The Truth, later in 2016 we came to the end of our season together and went onto some new projects. But if you enjoyed Steve's fantastic writing check out the Facebook page of Good Earth Collective. 

Of course I love hearing live music and over the Summer I got to listen to lots of great artists not only at festivals but also a bit closer to home I paid a visit to Holmfirth Food Festival and enjoyed some of the live music there outside Hot Banana Music, and in September I got to see my talented friend Kirstie performing with The Haze  - check out their Facebook page here to hear some of their original music.

Summer Tour

Summer 2015 was a summer of festivals.

Other things happened too with work but rather than put every little gig in chronological order I felt it would be easier to group certain types of gigs together. SO...here are some pics from the festivals!

Bute Fest

Sound check: I went to Bute music festival along with
 Steve Ansell & The Truth (minus Gareth).

The main stage, where we did our set.

It was a soggy affair but great to visit this Scottish Island and play some music.

Cloud Spotting

We performed The Town Band of Bremen at Cloudspotting music
and arts festival in Lancashire.

Just So Festival

The Fabularium went along to Just So Festival (a family arts
Festival) and went down a storm when we continued to perform
 in a downpour by relocating the audience to under a large tree.

We also performed at the campfire stage with Steve Ansell & the Truth.

I loved the festival and seeing lots of performance
and creativity going on throughout.

Ramsbottom

We performed The Town Band of Bremen
at Ramsbottom Festival.

Setting up for the show.

I love performing at Festivals, it's definitely one of my favourite settings to work in as I enjoy the whole atmosphere, camping and enjoying other people's performances as well as focusing on your own.

The Fabularium at the RSC!

In June last year The Fabularium had the exciting opportunity to be part of the Pilot Sites event run by the company Pilot Nights and hosted by the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford. The show was called 'The Midsummer Mechanicals Perform the Town Band of Bremen' - and it was exactly that. Peter Quince, Starveling, Flute and Bottom all took to the stage in bumbling mechanics fashion to perform the old German folk tale we tour around with us!

As was only fitting, Bottom played the Donkey.

We adapted the play for the event including shortening it and of course adding more Shakespeare references, and we had a fantastic time performing it at the RSC, in the courtyard directly opposite their main entrance.

We also had the opportunity to attend a workshop run by fantastically experienced vocal coach to the RSC Charlie Hughes-Daeth (check out her highly impressive CV here!) which was really engaging and useful.

Other artists performing at the event included Bright Particular, Hannah Silva, Alice Cooper & Claire Willoughby and Miranda La Mutanta.

Where Have I Been?

Hello.

It's been a while since I've posted! 9 months in fact. Enough time to brew up a baby...though that's not what I've been doing (sorry to disappoint mother). What I have been doing however is working pretty darn hard. I've moved location a few times and ended up living in Derbyshire for the time being, doing a lot more singing work, which is a lot of fun. But there is a lot more between now and then which I have not yet told you, because I've been...well...busy I guess. But I haven't forgotten this blog and I will keep updating when I get chance, and filling in the gaps!

Although I mostly post about work in this blog obviously I also live life outside of work and as with anyone's life there have been ups and downs. I have had the privilege of spending more time with certain family members which has been amazing, but I have also in the last few months lost a very very dear friend. The beautiful and talented Katie Sharpe, who I lived with for 3 years in Northampton, and have known for I think nearly 9. I will not post a full tribute here, as I have done already in more appropriate places, but I could not continue to post without mentioning this beautiful beautiful friend - beautiful inside and out. A part of me has left this world with her. And so it is a rather different Anna that will be writing the following posts. Some of the events I will write about happened before she left this world, and some after. Her leaving is like a wall between the two realities. I love and miss her so much, and she will always inspire me to keep doing what I love and working hard, just as she did. Here's to Katie.

Some Exciting Achievements!

I'd like to share a couple of things from earlier this year that are exciting achievements for me...

The Hidden Stream

I mentioned in an earlier blog post, how as well as performing in this years UK edition of the Gi60 Theatre Festival, I submitted a script for the first time, which was chosen for the US event. As with the UK performances, The plays there  were filmed. They have now been uploaded, and are available to view on the Gi60 YouTube channel. So if you like you can view all of the plays, including the one I wrote, which I have inserted below here:

If you would be interested in submitting a play for the next Gi60 festival (each play is just one minute long!) then follow the Gi60 blog, for updates of when they are next accepting submissions. You can also read there about how the festival extended to New Zealand this year!

New Roads

One thing I have been working on, which I mentioned in a blog post back in February, is that I have been learning to drive. Well I am so excited to say that I have now passed my theory and practical tests and I am officially a driver!! I was so so happy when I was told I had passed, and I really enjoy driving and the freedom and flexibility it brings. Since passing I have been driving all over the country, for work and other things! It has allowed me to squeeze in a lot more into my time, and been really helpful for certain projects I'm working on. The instructor I learnt with was Andy Kerr, if you are interested you can find his website here.